Will Smith hearts Hitler. Wait, what?

From the moral outrage department, movie star (and former Fresh Prince) Will Smith has apparently been taking flak for the last couple of days for a remark he made to a Scottish newspaper that Hitler "didn't wake up going, 'Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' ... I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good.'"

As of Monday, the Jewish Defamation league, according to TMZ, was "calling on Barack Obama [whom Smith has publicly supported] to repudiate Smith's comments, and [wanted] theaters to pull Smith's new flick 'I Am Legend' from their screens," saying that his words, "spit on the memory of every person murdered by the Nazis. His disgusting words stick a knife in the backs of every veteran who fought (and sometimes died) to save the world from the intentions of Adolf Hitler." For his part, Smith subsequently tried to defuse the situation, issuing a statement that said, "It is an awful and disgusting lie. It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen. I am incensed and infuriated to have to respond to such ludicrous misinterpretation. Adolf Hitler was a vile, heinous vicious killer responsible for one of the greatest acts of evil committed on this planet."

Seriously, guys? Are we really that sensitive today that you can't even mention Hitler except to denounce him? I think we're all in agreement here that the Holocaust was a travesty (minus a few crazies, like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Ron Paul), and I'm pretty sure that Will "Get Jiggy With It" Smith is not a neo-Nazi, so what exactly are we getting so riled up about? Frankly, while I don't necessarily agree with Smith's comments -- personally, I'm more inclined to believe that Hitler's rhetoric was a calculated effort to gain power through hatemongering (kind of like President Bush's...) -- I don't think that they are particularly radical. He didn't say that Hitler was a fun guy to be around, or that the Jews had it coming, he just said that the Nazis thought they were doing the right thing. And...?

Of course, I'm not entirely sure what business Will Smith -- star of "Wild Wild West" and "I, Robot" -- has waxing philosophical about Hitler's motivations, but I don't think he should be crucified for it, either. On the bright side, maybe this will finally teach celebrities not to act like they're experts on everything under the sun just because they read a script about WWII once, or teach the rest of the world not to listen to them if they're talking about anything besides how they did their own stunts (probably not, though, on both counts).

On a deeper level, I think we need, as a society, to be able to discuss historical events like the Holocaust without having to fear this kind of unmitigated backlash, because all this ideological bullying does is to alienate anyone with a different point of view from our own. I know that these are sensitive subjects for a lot of people, but freedom of speech is guaranteed by the Constitution in order to facilitate debate in this country -- are we really choosing, of our own accord, to undermine that?

At least if Will Smith thought that people were "basically good" before this shitstorm, he's probably nice and cynical like the rest of us now. What would Uncle Phil say?

Sources:
Will Smith angry over Hitler comment interpretation [CNN]
Will Smith -- Hitler, Schmitler; He Wasn't That Bad [TMZ]
Smith: 'Hitler was a good person' [Yahoo News]

Dress LC in corduroy and denim

I saw my 9 year-old sister playing on this website today (needless to say, she was introduced to it by my 18 year-old sister) and it was so bizarre that I couldn't resist posting about it. The site is called Stardoll (www.stardoll.com) and it allows you to dress up your favorite celebrity/British royal like some sort of creepy, computer-generated paper doll. Stardoll (which you can view in like 15 different languages) claims to have over 400 personas to choose from, all of which are rendered with extraordinarily disturbing detail, from Britney Spears to Michelle Pfeiffer to Prince William. It also has a whole bunch of other features that I haven't really explored (yet), like the ability to create yourself as a doll and the ability to social network with your fellow Stardollers. There is also a shopping function where you can buy clothes and accessories DESIGNED BY HILLARY DUFF!!! The site accepts payment online by credit card, by phone or by text message.

I'm not really sure what to make of all this. On the one hand, this site more or less represents everything that is wrong with the world today: The celebrity worship, the exploitative capitalism, the unwavering focus on the superficial. On the other hand, it is kind of surreal and awesome. The fact that I can take a simulacrum of Lauren Conrad in her underwear and choose how to clothe her (or not clothe her) is crazy enough, but the fact that I can then make her go on a date with me to the Eiffel Tower is absolutely insane, in the best way possible (P.S. Lauren, if you're reading this, I will take you anywhere you want to go, baby...)

In fact, my only suggestion to Stardoll would be that, by gearing the site almost entirely to tweenage girls, they're missing out on a segment of the market with plenty of time and disposable income on their hands: Nerds. Why not spice things up a little? Throw some lingerie on the clothes rack. Add the ability to move the dolls into provocative poses. Allow users to anonymously communicate with 13 year-old girls who don't know any better. Oh, wait, they do that already. (P.S. Stardoll, your site is just begging to be overrun by weirdos. I would know.)

Ultimately, whether it's the teeny-bopper imagining herself as best friends with Ashley Tisdale and using her "emergency" credit card to buy that really cute imaginary skirt, or her pimply-faced brother spanking it to Hayden Panettiere in her panties, this thing has the potential to be good, clean, masturbatory fun for the whole family.

God bless Mike Gravel, that crazy bastard

Despite the fact that it is a Thursday night and I should probably be passed out drunk right now (I have to get my binge drinking in before I graduate and it becomes "alcoholism"), I just couldn't resist posting this video as soon as humanly possible because, frankly, its existence is probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, or to American politics. No joke.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised at the staggering level of awesomeness here, given former Alaska senator and current presidential uber-longshot Mike Gravel's wonderful tendency to make completely whacked out declarations about how we should encourage homosexuality in the military (because soldiers will naturally fight harder for someone that they love in the Biblical sense) and legalize heroin (because it would effectively end the war on drugs. And, you know, get everyone high...), but I have to admit that I was not really prepared for how sublimely fucking crazy this video is. It's like "Schoolhouse Rock" on acid, only better, because it stars a man who, because he was low on campaign funds, apparently took public transportation to the announcement of his own candidacy last April (Wikipedia, bitches!). Do I even need to mention that this guy is my hero?

The video, which can also be found on the Gravel campaign's YouTube profile space, is literally titled "power to the people vs give peace a chance," written exactly like that, with no capital letters or punctuation. It would seem to be Gravel's response to being excluded from the Democratic Presidential debates, which is either a product of some sordid conspiracy on the part of the political establishment, or the fact that he is currently receiving like .5% of the vote (or both). There is nothing that I could possibly say to make watching it a funnier or more enjoyable experience but, in the interest of being an active blogger, here is a shot-by-shot breakdown of this psychedelic masterpiece. Feel free to follow along:

-Right off the bat, Gravel is wearing an old-man shirt and seems to be talking to no one in particular, which makes him my grandfather. I'm really curious as to what he's saying -- probably something crazy.

-I think this video just gave me epilepsy.

-I get why Gravel's mouth is taped shut (because the man is trying to keep him quiet and such) but why is he holding a 230 year old flag? Could they not find him a new one? Go with what you've got, I guess.

-I love that when Mike Gravel talks about "politicians" like Hillary, Obama, and Edwards, he does so with a sarcastic tone of voice, as if he's making perfect sense and it's everybody else who are out of their damn minds. There's something to think about next time you're high...it's like "The Matrix"!

-Nepotism: favoritism (as in appointment to a job) based on kinship. (From http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/nepotism)

-Mike Gravel is really pissed off about jingoism. Me too.

-The Gravel campaign really went all out for this video, technology-wise. I think they may have shot it in an Apple store.

-I love how he says "Power to the peeeeeople." P.S. This song is mad catchy.

-Mike Gravel clearly did a lot of drugs in the 60's. Just saying.

-Could someone please explain to me what's up with the turtle and the monkey? I feel like it has something to do with war, but I was not under the impression that they were enemies...

-Am I high right now?

-"Why won't you let me say what I want to say?" Probably because you're a raging looney! Case in point, this video.

-Did he just say something about cheese?

-I'm going to have nightmares about that electric buffalo in the background for sure.

-Okay, America just turned into a sombrero and then fish started flying out of it. Just putting that out there.

-"Are they afraid of the truth?" Well...yeah. But who isn't? Put that in your pipe and smoke it (not literally...)

-For some reason, YouTube is not working properly and the video just cut off like 15 seconds early. Somehow, I'm okay with it.

Look, I know that Mike Gravel has no shot in hell of ever being president -- and, thank god, because he's a raving nutbag. But, still, isn't it kind of comforting to know that someone like this is out there, spreading his crazy brand of patriotism across the land like some loopy Johnny Appleseed? I say, let the man into the debates -- even if he doesn't get a single vote come primary-season, the American people deserve to have someone pushing the discourse, especially in an ever-blander, soundbyte-based political landscape.

God bless you, Mike Gravel. You are truly an American original. Now go seek help.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Gravel
Also, big props to Ryan, who found this video.

White-on-White Violence: The YouTube Republican Presidential Debate

For anyone fortunate enough to have missed it, the CNN/YouTube Republican Presidential Debate was held tonight in St. Petersburg, Florida. Something like 5,000 video questions were submitted by YouTubers from across the country (at least one of whom, naturally, bore a striking resemblance to Hank Williams, Jr.) and 35 were chosen by CNN's producers to be shown on a big screen above the stage. Candidates were also given the opportunity to submit their own "YouTube-like" videos (most of which were just campaign ads, and not particularly good ones at that), which were interspersed with the questions.

You might imagine that any forum involving YouTube and Republicans would be a mess but, while it sometimes verged on shitshowiness, the debate was usually just about as dull as eight old white guys arguing about politics should be. The issues ranged from reducing crime in the inner city to the ethics of waterboarding, but the debate focused primarily on the war, immigration, abortion, government spending and gun control.

I will spare you the pain of a full-blown recap, but here are some observations (in no particular order):

-Anderson Cooper was the Worst. Moderator. Ever. Whenever a candidate went over his time limit -- which politicians are wont to do -- Cooper, rather than forcing (or even asking) them to finish, would simply repeat the word "time" over and over again until they were done, as if saying it enough would magically make them stop ignoring him. Also, I find him kind of funny looking.

-Republicans really don't like Hillary Clinton. I'm not exactly sure how she came to symbolize everything that is wrong with the world, but boy do they hate her. In fact, I think that every single candidate, at one point or another, referred to her in some derogatory manner, several of them more than once. It's a sad state of affairs when a United States senator draws more ire in a political debate than Osama Bin Laden, but I'm sure she loved every second of it. Also, it turns out that the Clinton campaign planted one of the more controversial questioners of the night, retired Brig. Gen. Keith Kerr, an openly gay veteran who asked why American soldiers aren't professional enough to serve with homosexuals. Score one for the Ice Queen.

-Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney seem to hate each other almost as much as they hate Hillary. At one point, during a heated discussion about illegal immigration, I was pretty sure that the ostensible front-runners were going to break out into fisticuffs, and that was only five minutes into the debate! I say we just get it over with and make the next debate a steel-cage match between these two (maybe Hillary could guest-referee...)

-What the hell kind of a name is "Mitt," anyway?

-And who the hell is Duncan Hunter? After two hours, all I know about the guy is that he loves border fences. In fact, his greatest accomplishment seems to have been building a 30-foot fence between San Diego and Tijuana (probably after the infamous Marissa Cooper incident of 2004). I'm not sure whether he's more qualified to be president or manager of the Home Depot.

-Republicans shouldn't try to be funny -- it usually ends badly. I'm looking at you, Giuliani...

-I'm finding it really hard not to like Mike Huckabee. I know he doesn't believe in evolution and all, but he's just so damn friendly, and his response to a (remarkably stupid) question about believing the Bible word-for-word was by far the most eloquent and progressive of the bunch. One of my roommates remarked that he doesn't seem presidential because he's "too nice." Plus, he lost more weight than the Subway guy.

-Ron Paul kind of looks an elf, but he has some good ideas about the war. Namely, that we should end it.

-Why are Republicans so squinty all the time? Is it because they hate the light?

-John McCain probably doesn't have a snowball's chance in Hell of winning this nomination, but I think he had the best soundbyte of the night: "We came to power in 1994 looking to change the government, and government changed us." Also, it's a really bad idea to argue with him about torture, something Romney found out the hard way.

-Speaking of Romney, I couldn't help thinking that he was the most presidential of the group, probably because he's really good at not answering questions. Also, he's kind of dreamy, if you're into the stuck-up, rich, Mormon look. I wouldn't be at all surprised if this race came down to him and Huckabee.

-Fred Thompson was pretty much a non-factor and, thank god, because he thinks that overturning Roe v. Wade should be our "#1 focus" (not, you know, ending the war or paying down the massive, crippling debt that it has caused.) Good call, Fred.

-Republicans love Bill Cosby. He is like their one black friend.

-Tom Tancredo is an idiot. For more, read this.

All in all, it was pretty much a waste of two hours. At least now I know what we're dealing with, though, and it isn't pretty. I know that the Democratic candidates aren't exactly the Founding Fathers or anything, but if we can't get one of them elected against this bunch of weirdos, I'm leaving. For reals.

Sources:
http://www.youtube.com/republicandebate
http://washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071129/NATION/111290095/1002