Reproduction! [Around the Internet] 12/12/07

-Coming to a theater near you: M. Night Shyamalan's latest train-wreck, The Happening. How is it that the Writers Guild can't get 4 extra cents per DVD and yet studios keep giving this genius a blank check? It's a head-scratcher. [Deus Ex Malcontent]
-Merry Christmas from fat Mike Huckabee! [Wonkette]
-Marking what is clearly a banner year for the English language, "w00t" is Merriam-Webster's word of 2007. [Pop Candy]
-Turns out that a bunch of Republicans arguing about a flat tax is mad boring. Go figure. [Wonkette]
-Jessica Alba is preggers. I don't even like Jessica Alba and yet, somehow, I find that thought incredibly depressing. [People]
-President Bush hates children. Especially poor children. [Huffington Post]
-Obama-mania sweeps New Hampshire. [Wizbang Politics]
-Why aren't Republicans supporting the most electable candidate? Because he doesn't hate Mexicans enough, obvi. So much for compassionate conservatism... [American Debate]
-And finally, glow in the dark cats! What will those Koreans think of next? [Breitbart]

Oprah-bama! [Weekend Links] 12/9/07

-Mike Huckabee hates the gays. Well, nobody's perfect, I guess. [Wizbang Politics]
-Just like a liberal, NBC backs down on ad controversy. [Huffington Post]
-Turns out Democrats were cool with waterboarding in 2002. Guess they thought it was some sort of S&M thing. [Washington Post]
-Cryptkeeper Helen Thomas drives White House press secretary Dana Perino to the verge of a nervous breakdown. In related news, Dana Perino wishes Helen Thomas would just die already. [Crooks and Liars]
-Germany tries to make up for WWII by banning Scientology. Throw in a case of Heineken and we're even. [BBC]
-Clinton campaign counters Oprah-bama with the hotness. Mmm...Chelsea. [NYT]
-Charles in Charge got married. I give it a week. [People]

Happy Hanukkah, bitches! [Around the Internet] 12/4/07

-The bra: Celebrating 100 years of male oppression. [USA Today]
-"Once a gynecologist, always a gynecologist": Ron Paul talks about killing babies on The View [Wonkette]
-Katherine Heigl apparently doesn't read the scripts of movies she stars in. Curious. [Cinematical]
-These whackjobs want you to believe that God hates the world, and yet their very presence in it makes me question God's existence. It's a paradox. [QuizLaw]
-The NRA wants a "viable" candidate. So do we all, fellas. So do we all. [The Hotline]
-And, if you ever needed a reason why the NRA shouldn't exist, here it is. [Wonkette]
-Mitt Romney fires his illegals. Why is it that when Republicans fight, it's always the immigrants that suffer? [Reuters]

And Iran, Iran so far away... [Around the Internet] 12/3/07

-Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen? Like Tila Tequila with green cards. [Wonkette]
-"Never give a gay general a microphone." Pure redneck genius. [QuizLaw]
-"If we're going to go out to the streets and share the love of Jesus, why not expect something crazy to happen?" With that, I give you the Holy Interstate. [A Special Way of Being Afraid]
-Army throws money at recruits. NCAA investigation pending. [Wonkette]
-Iran is much less of a threat to the United States than the Bush administration. [Think Progress]
-Holy shit, it's a toilet house! [CubeMe]
-The Clinton campaign goes all kindergarten on Obama's ass [Wizbang Politics]

I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared! [Weekend Links] 12/2/07

-Free South Park online next year! In other news, Scientology still nonsense. [Agent Bedhead]
-Thai politicians bribe voters with Viagra. Insert erection joke here. [Wizbang Politics]
-Obama and Huckabee lead in Iowa. Clinton and Romney pissed. [Politico]
-Despite best efforts, Evel Knievel dies of natural causes [Los Angeles Times]
-Jesse Spano to host new Bravo dance-off show. Let's hope it's not like Showgirls without all the naked parts...because Showgirls is fucking terrible without all the naked parts. [Defamer]
-It must be Christmas-time if my Jewish roommates are making peppermint bark. Mmm...Jesus-y. [Two Fat Als]

I knew it! [Around the Internet] 11/30/07

-Tila Tequila is full of shit. I'll probably still watch, though. [The Superficial]
-Kasparov warns of chaos in Russia. In other news, Queen to L7. Or Something. [NYT]
-The Orgasmo Clock: And you thought it was a myth... [Gizmodo]
-Rambo!!! [Cinema Blend]
-Michael Wilbon hits you with some knowledge. Read it. [Washington Post]
-Barack Obama is a Muslim conspiracy [Washington Post]